New York is a sucked orange.**

Now that she's retired and living by herself, my mom volunteers two days a week at an out-patient surgical center that is affiliated with the local hospital in my hometown.  She acts as a patient liaison of sorts - between the doctors and the patients' families - she holds hands, she brings coffee, she entertains scared children.  Essentially, it's a perfect "job" for her.

The best part of her job, however, are the stories.  Good gosh, she has some doozies. But the one that she related to me today had me laughing out loud.

Apparently there were two women waiting for their mother to come out of surgery.  When the time came when a guest could go back to the post-surgical area, an argument arose because only one person was allowed.  Words were said, voices raised, etc.  In other words, the patients' family was less than appreciative of my mother's role.

She handled the whole thing as she always does - with grace and a few well placed insults. After all had calmed down, an older man approached my mom and tried to comfort her:

Him: I just want you to know that I think you are a wonderful lady and you made my time here today much less stressful. Thank you.

Mom:  You are so welcome.

Him:  I heard the way those girls spoke to you, and I felt so bad. I wanted to let you know that I appreciated everything you did today.

Mom:  That was sweet of you - but I'm fine.

Him:  They were very fresh to you. Young women shouldn't act like that.  Do you think....

Mom:  ???

Him:  Do you think they were...(whispering)...from New York?

THE HORROR!!!!

The best part, my mom was born and raised in New York herself.

**Ralph Waldo Emerson