Turning A Corner

I'm not going to lie - it was a rough weekend. Rough. I think my husband and I experienced every emotion on the spectrum since the vet called us on Friday afternoon and suggested that Murphy be put to sleep. Even though the tumor only became noticeable a week ago, it was massive and had invaded his muscles and abdominal wall. They would never be able to remove it all - so all they could guarantee was a long painful recovery with an inevitable death - perhaps in as soon as 8 weeks.

My husband, to put it lightly, was devastated. I can't recall ever seeing him quite this upset about anything. But I was so proud of him - he was so open with his emotions and his loss. And we cried a lot together. Needless to say, neither of us really cares anymore about the house and the fact that it has a kick-ass yard.

But despite all of this ickiness - I need to recognize a VERY important day. Today, is my Mom's birthday. How old is she you ask? I have NO idea. You see, she has lied to me about very few things in my lifetime, but one consistent lie is her age. So I forget and get confused over her true age. AND - she would likely disown me if I ever disclosed it...even if I did so on a blog that she doesn't know about. (Well, not just that she doesn't know about...I'm not sure she knows what a blog is either).

So - let's put the pity party on pause for a day and wish an amazing mother, friend, and semi-professional waxer a Happy Birthday!

Thank you for always being there, day and night, for all of the moments in my life, happy and sad. Thank you for loving my husband so much and making him laugh. Thank you for crying on Friday along with me. Thank you for giving me the best dad and brother in the whole world. Thank you for giving me something to strive for in life - to be like you. Thank you for being the perfect hostess and teaching me the importance of making people feel at home. Thank you for forcing me to take Irish Step Dancing for so long (even though it was totally uncool at the time). Thank you for being my friend.

I love you Mom!

Rainbow Bridge

A very kind and dear friend just sent this to me and I just wanted to post it as a tribute to my beloved furry family member Murphy who passed on to Rainbow Bridge a few hours ago.

RAINBOW BRIDGE

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

It's All About Me (sarcasm intended)

Thank you all so much for your love and support after my last post. As I stated, I understand that there are others out there with bigger problems, including my previously mentioned friend that had lost her father and had surgery in the same week - my frustration with the whole situation was complicated. First of all, I was sad about her father dying. I have been friends with her and her family for over 36 years. She and her brothers are my honorary siblings, and I loved her parents as if they were my own. I was heartbroken that I couldn't make it back to New Jersey to attend the funeral, especially since she was there when my dad passed away. She implored me not to come, and I heeded her advice - but it all seemed like a bad idea when she got sick. I was terribly worried about her and I wanted to be there. But I couldn't, and I wasn't. It just felt like a huge friendship failure on my part. Thankfully, she's doing much better and we are so hopeful that she'll have a new lease on life as a result of this scare - there's always a silver lining!

Murphy is another story. This little fuzzy-beast has the doctors quite perplexed.


In spite of the over $400 we have already laid down, they have no idea what the tumor is made of, nor what caused it. But, they are willing to cut it out of him for another $1,000. My pet is uncomfortable and in pain, and I'm sick over it. We are getting a second-opinion from a family friend today - so hopefully if it's necessary, he'll be in surgery by Friday and on his way to a long and healthy life.

On a happier note, one of the partners that I worked for in Dallas called me over the weekend in a panic. She was visiting Austin and we had planned to meet up, but she needed a favor - could I watch her adorable two sons for a few hours while she attended a parent orientation at UT for a few hours. She was in a bind and I could hear the desperation in her voice - even though I am quite uncomfortable with my abilities to care for younguns, I said "yes." I went to her brother's house yesterday for about 4 hours and had the time of my life! Cute kids everywhere (her niece and nephew were there too), and I had a chance to spend some time with her miracle baby. Born at 22 weeks, no one thought he would survive, but there he was in my arms giggling and pulling my hair - it was an amazing dose of perspective. And hey, if she didn't think four hours under my care would irreparably scar her children, who am I to disagree?

In other news, I've lot about ten pounds since last week. Yea, apparently not-eating does that to you! I'm hoping to use this lack-o-appetite as a spring-board for paying-attention-to-my-health once-again. One lesson that I've learned over this past week is the importance of health.

There are other exciting times in store as well - this weekend some very fun Dallas-area bloggers are coming down for meet-up with some very fun Austin-area bloggers. I can't wait to have so many wonderful ladies in one place.

This brings me to my last tidbit - I'm really excited about the book that is featured in the Daily Grommet ad to the left. I think we all know the power of female friends - it looks like a great read. I myself have been very lucky in the friend department. Specifically, I have a group of friends from my hometown in NJ that are my lifeline. This little coven was established over 29-years-ago and has gotten me through a lot in my life. I'll be talking about them more in the future - while we are all different and each of them is so unique in her own way, we have similarities that have forged life-long bonds and I am so grateful for that.

Pbbbbtttt to Last Week

This past week has been very difficult. And I don't mean that I was busy, or sick - I mean that the planets lined up in some celestial firing range to annihilate my optimism.

[What follows is a somewhat whiny and self-pitying post. So proceed if you like. But know that the actual writing of this post has actually improved my outlook - so don't feel bad...things are looking up and that's the way the cookie crumbles. :) ] (Name that movie and get 5 extra points).

First, there was Monday. As I have mentioned, we decided to buy a house. Now I know that this process isn't easy, but I never expected it to be THIS hard:

6:45 a.m.: You got the house - we're closing in a few hours.
6: 52 a.m.: We're raising your interest rate that was supposedly locked in. But we're still closing today.
7:10 a.m.: Are you ready to close? (Thus, I go off to shower and put on appropriate house-closing outfit and make-up).
10:12 a.m.: Who told you the house was closing today? It's still in underwriting.
12:15 p.m.: Who told you it was in underwriting? There are still a number of conditions that need to be met.
12:45 p.m.: Who told you that you could extend your lease, we rented your apartment out.
1:17 p.m.: Who told you that you deserve a house? Have you been to a therapist lately? You aren't worthy of ANYTHING.

Then there was Tuesday. This lovely second day of the week coupled a lost invoice for my services (and thus, a lost payment for those services and thus, no money) and a declaration by our lender that we needed to compile additional tax information to even qualify for a mortgage at the rate we were previously given.

Wednesday - oh, beautiful Wednesday. You paired the unexpected death of my friend's father (well unexpected to me), with a lost camera and melting-down husband. Oh, and you sprinkled in a decision to pull our file from our current lender, hours of tax paperwork compiled with my Mother-in-law's assistance, and my brother-in-law as a house guest for a few days.

Thursday, you lured me in with your seemingly happy start. But you pulled out your old ace-in-the-hole and gave me a crisis at work. Which sucked up 14 hours of my day.

Friday...you gave me gloriously freshened-by-Aveda-chocolaty locks, but you confusion at the salon required that I use a new colorist, which made me nervous. Also, she charges $20 more than my current colorist. When I got home from the salon, feeling cautiously optimistic about the upcoming weekend? You gave me the most horrifying news yet...my friend? Who had just lost her father? She didn't make it to the funeral because she was in intensive care. The doctors thought she had suffered a heart-attack and they had to do TRIPLE BYPASS SURGERY to save her life. Yep - that friend that was a bridesmaid in my wedding just 2 1/2 years ago. That friend that is only five years older than me.

Friday also lovingly threw in some MORE financial paperwork with my mother-in-law, and a rapidly growing grapefruit-sized tumor appeared in the abdomen of our younger dog, Murphy. A tumor, that even though I called the vet and they said to bring him in first thing on Monday morning, scared the crap out of me at the rate with which it grew. Of course, Murphy is still acting like he's fine - eating and drinking and pooping and peeing...so I'm perplexed. But if I get bad news at the vet today, I will have a full-on meltdown.

Saturday wasn't so bad. I did have a chance to see the house that we-may-or-may-not live in. Also, I noticed that it was missing a lot of stuff, such as a refrigerator, that was supposedly to be included in the purchase. Also, had to kill a VERY LARGE bug when I was there. That being said, we've tested the sellers' patience so much, we likely don't even care about such things - we just want a home.

And of course, Sunday...Fathers' Day...yep, cherry on my freaking sundae.

As of now, my friend is doing okay. She came through the five hour surgery with flying colors and they were able to take her off the ventilator Saturday night and she was moved out of intensive care yesterday.

Murphy is currently at the vet's office (without me). I brought him in early this morning because I was so freaked out. They aspirated the tumor and it was bloody, rather than clear, which is not good. He also had a 105 degree fever, so they are keeping him for observation, giving him an IV and running some blood-work. Please say a little doggie prayer for him. He is truly the peanut butter to my jelly and I need him to be okay.

And the house? Well, we'll either know for sure or not this week whether it's ours. And if it's not, we'll stay where we are and look again in a few months. Screw interest rates.

I know everything will eventually be fine, and I know we are better off than some. Still, sometimes I want to look at the Universe and tell it to pick on someone it's own size.

The Second One

Today marks the second year that I've had to tolerate Fathers' Day. It sounds harsh and selfish, but I have to admit that I am jealous of daughters around the world that still have a dad to hug and appreciated. Advice that's only a phone call away. A reassuring hug that's always available. I can't even smile today when I see a small hand reaching up to grasp a larger one, because it still hurts. A lot. But then I realize that it hurts so much is because he truly was an amazing father. And I would rather have had time with him, even knowing the inevitable despair that his absence would cause, than none at all.

I realize what an important role so many men around the world play in their children's lives and I have to thank God that I drew the long straw when he was giving out fathers.

I have a lot more that I need to share with y'all. This past week has been unprecedented in the craziness that has ensued - there has been much drama, fear, sadness and anticipation. I think I'll revisit those issues tomorrow since I feel rather raw today.

From the bottom of my heart, I wish a Happy Fathers' Day to all. And to my fellow daddy's little girls out there? Give your dad an extra hug for me.

P.S. Edited to include: I am very, very, very lucky to have a wonderful father-in-law! He's one of the most kind-hearted men that I have ever met and I feel honored to be his daughter-in-law!

Your Inner Grill

Our two dogs were following Manbug around the house - for no apparent reason since he clearly wasn't carrying food in his hands.

Manbug: Dogs, why are you all up in my grill?

Me: Your grill?

Manbug: Yes, my grill.

Me: Coming from someone who I think knows you quite well, I'm 99% certain you don't have a grill.

Manbug: Everyone has a grill.

Me: I don't have a grill.

Manbug: You do. You just haven't gotten in touch with it. It's your inner grill.

Me: Is it charcoal or propane?

Manbug: Clearly, you have a lot of grill learning to do.

So, I'm off to learn about my grill. I can smell the steaks now.

Disturbing Things That I Have Seen

I'm a woman of few words lately. Solution? Pictures. I wanted to share with you a few things that I have seen over the past few days that have disturbed me in some way.

First up - The Oak Farms Cow.

Yesterday I was picking up a sign order from a rather industrial area. I hadn't realized the Oak Farms plant was across the street until I came upon this huge cow on a trailer in their lot.

What you cannot see in this picture (my poor Blackberry camera was at its zooming limitations and although I love y'all, I wasn't going to scale a barbed wire fence) was the physical specificity with which they constructed the udder.

The veins. The teats. I threw up in my mouth. I drew you a picture so that you can understand the true horror of this milking monstrosity:

Seriously, if you ever have a need for an anatomically correct cow, let me know and I'll give you the address.

Next up - Transgendered Midol:

I was having severe female issues yesterday. Perhaps it's the stress that I've been under, or the fact that haven't eaten a vegetable in five weeks. Either way, I headed to Target to inundate my blood stream with pain killers. I looked at the labels, pondered my options, and then just grabbed anything.

As a responsible drug-taker, I did look at the back label to determine whether I needed to be careful about anything (given the massive dose I was planning on taking). And yes, there was a warning that needed to be noted. But let me say this...if you have this issue, AND you are taking Midol, I think the side effects are the least of your concerns:

See that? Under "Ask your doctor before use if you have...". Yes, a prostate problem. And your period. At the same time.

Last up - Texas Storms:

Austin and the surrounding areas got slammed last night with a storm (much like our friends in DFW the night before). The sky scared the heck out of me. So I decided to race out, into the wind, rain and lightning, to see if my new camera would capture the clouds rolling in:

Turns out that as I was outside playing Ansel Adams, a tornado was touching down not so far away. Fun! Our poor doggies were freaking out, but the storm ended and we were safe. I ventured back outside (because clearly, I had learned my lesson) to see if my sunroof had been destroyed by the golf ball size hail,*** and what touched my toe?

He's hard to spot because basically, I suck at using my new camera. Interesting aspect of frogs? He sat there while I took at least 43 photos of him. He hit the road when Murphy ventured outside to sniff his butt in cross-species greeting.
***I just need to give a shout-out (as I did on Twitter last night) to those devoted Texans that NOT only ran out to their yard to grab the hail, AND took pictures, AND sent them immediately into their local weather station...but ALSO had a golf-ball or baseball handy in include in the picture for a complete scale. Thank you Honorary Meteorologists From Hell - you should definitely be the next Real Men of Genius.

It's Not That I Stink At Blogging...

it's that I'm longer skilled at multi-tasking. Things have been oh-so-hectic here. And I don't mean to say "my life is so much busier than your life." I mean to say "I'm not handling it as well as you are." I will be back to blogging full-time soon, but in the mean time I thought I'd update you on my life in list form:

• We got our stuff back from the book keeper/fugitive. It was a long hard process and it just about drove us nuts. I don't think any long term harm was done. I'd like to think that she was a person trying to turn over a new leaf, but a brisk wind came along and turned the leaf back to its original position. We are now looking for a legitimate company to take over the financial aspect of the business. Keep your fingers crossed. Also, you like my analogy? Too stretched? Yea, probably.
• Thing are plugging along. I won't believe it's going to happen until it happens, so I'm trying to remain mum on the subject so that I won't be too depressed if it gets yanked away from us. As soon as things are more positive, I will let y'all know. Promise.
• That being said, we did give our notice of intent to move to our apartment complex. They are at 96% occupancy right now. So there's a good chance if we lose the house, we'll also lose the apartment. Fun, right?
• Our older dog Riley decided to add a touch of her own decorating to our current home the other morning around 3:15 a.m. Her idea of decorating apparently consists of spray painting from a rear orifice if you get my drift. It was NOT pretty. Especially since I cleaned up the whole place, crawled back into bed, and then realized I could still smell it everywhere. Guess what? I hadn't checked her fur. Rookie mistake really. I got about three hours of sleep that night.
• My mom just called me from her bridge game to ask me what the name of the animal was that freaked Manbug out when he visited NJ. I knew exactly what she was talking about, but received protests from my male counterpart when I recalled the story of how he screamed like a girl when two fighting chipmunks crossed over his path. (Really, he had a valid point - those suckers are ALL OVER my mom's condo complex).
• Also, I think my mom and her friends have started drinking at their bi-weekly bridge games (does that mean twice a week? Because that's what I meant. I can never get those words straight).
• I'm a little amazed that there is a chance that we could be moving in less than 25 days.
• Of course, there's always the possibility that we could be homeless in 25 days.
• Anyone in Austin have some free guest space?
• I promise I won't bring Riley. :)
• Someone called my husband "low class" today for two of the dumbest reasons and I'm still laughing about it. He's still mumbling "d-bag" under his breath every five minutes, but really - it's funny. Because the commentor turned out to be more low-class than anyone I've ever met.
• I got to meet some AMAZING women last week at a little happy hour. We had a lovely time and chatted for hours. I can honestly say they are all as funny in person as they are on their blogs!

Hell is Other People***

We had the best of intentions - find an experience bookkeeper to hire that could help set up our business on Quick books, teach us how to book keep, and smack us on the snout with a rolled-up newspaper when we didn't get it right.

We ended up with unreturned phone calls, unreturned files, missing money and possibly a stolen car (not ours).

Where did the story start, you ask? Craigslist. And after hearing that horrible stories do happen from this source, well - all I can say is that the Internet isn't all good - and you have to be careful.

This past week has been hellacious. It's been filled with regret, hindsight, finger-pointing, blame, anger and fighting. My husband and I learned a lot about trust, and more importantly, suspicion.

Honestly, I should have KNOWN from the beginning that something wasn't right. But here I was, a new citizen of one of the best cities in the world and I was doing my part to Keep Austin Weird.

We made an appointment to meet with the person we contacted. We rescheduled and then didn't hear from her for a few days. We contacted her again and she explained that she had a dental emergency. We set up a new appointment. She came, but was late. We spoke with her at length regarding what we needed, what we expected, and the time line.

We gave her the only copies of some files (Mistake No. 1). Files that contained confidential information (Mistake No. 2). We didn't ask for her phone number (Mistake No. 3) because we thought we had it (she had called us and we kept the number) (Mistake No. 4). We didn't blink when she asked for a copy of the Quick books version that we were using (Mistake No. 5). And then, we didn't hear from her for a week. She didn't return our emails. I called the number that she had contacted us from and it was her old job. From which she had recently been fired. Because she had stolen checks and money and a car. And then the shit hit the fan.

Let's just say, neither my husband nor I was fighting fair. And in all honesty, we shouldn't have been fighting at all. We should have faced this crisis as a team. But again, we are seeing things a lot clearer in retrospect.

We still don't have the files back. We have a nice man named Claude helping us out as a private investigator. We've had to set alerts on our accounts and will do the same on our credit reports. Oh, and we can't shut down anything right now BECAUSE WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF GETTING A FUCKING MORTGAGE. Sigh.

Truthfully, nothing has really happened yet. As long as we get our stuff back, and get our house, we can take all of the precautionary measures needed and get new accounts etc. And really? She only has copies of checks - but I'm sure an industrious person can use that limited information for evil purposes. But wow, so many lessons have been learned.
This that have helped this week? I'm making this for dinner tonight and I suspect that we'll both be too apathetic to fight. I meeting this wonderful person and this wonderful person for drinks tomorrow night, and if their blogs are any indication of the kind of people they are, I'll be happy and laughing most of the night. And next week, I'll meet more wonderful bloggers that will be in town for a trip. So really, the Internet is mostly a good place - and the outpouring I have received from my Tweeps and bloggers in general? My faith is mostly restored. You just have to be careful.



*** Jean-Paul Sartre

Manbug's Observation on John Grisham

Scene: Manbug just played the trailer from the new Transformer movie.

Me: Did you know that John Grisham admired Shia Lebouf's acting so much that he cast him in his new legal thriller movie?

Manbug: Really, what's it about?

Me: I don't know. It's called "The Associate."

Manbug (with knowledge of his wife's life when she worked at a big law firm): "The Associate"? That sounds horrible! Why not "The Partner"? Subtitle: I make lots of money and belittle people all day!

Me: That doesn't sound interesting at all.

Manbug: Oh, and "The Associate" does? What's the subtitle for that? Film about a guy that works 95 hours a week and has no life? I sit in a cube and look at documents. Let me film you! Here's me getting lunch and eating it at my desk. Until 10:00 p.m. That's a great movie! I suspect the Box Office Totals will be $24.50 for opening weekend.

Me: That's harsh.

Manbug: You forget. I know. "The Associate" is boring.

True. So true. So kids, don't go to law school