Dreams are illustrations... from the book your soul is writing about you.

Since my childhood, I've been able to retain every small detail of a dream from the night before. I have never needed a dream log. And I enjoy how vivid my dreams are, but I hate the way they affect me. For example, I've dreamt about my father a few times and often, when I wake up, have to remind myself that he's gone and sort of experience that hurt all over again. I become so immersed in the dream version of my life, and because my mind retains the details of a recent dream, they usually navigate the parameters of my behavior for the following few days.


For example, one night last week I dreamed that I married an ex-boyfriend. He is (and was in the dream) extremely financially successful and living in the San Francisco area. And, he's still single (again, in real life and in the dream). The dream alluded to the fact that I had lost my husband somehow through death (this of course devastated me during the dream and for the next few days) and it contained very vivid sexual details of myself and my not-so-future husband. So for the next day, I felt HORRIBLE. Because I felt like I had cheated on my husband in my sleep. Yes, it never happened. No, I would never do it. But the details of the dream were accurate in so many ways, it made it hard for me to wander through the fiction to fact for the next few hours.


Last night, I dreamt about my old workplace. They had turned one floor of the building into a luxury suite of offices. There were skylights and coffee bars and offices for first year associates that should have been featured in Architectural Digest. in the dream, there was a contagious disease being transmitted from person to person (or lawyer to lawyer since most people suspect that we aren't actually people). Anyway, somehow - through the profuse bleeding out of the various orifices of my body (I'm talking eyes and ears people, don't be rude), the doctors on staff (yes, this one floor of the law firm had a staff of doctors on stand-by) determined that it was a parasitic infection. (And I'm sure this entirely had something to do with last week's episode of Private Practice.) The infection was spreading, but there was a finite number of pills available to cure people...and a partner that I once worked for actually said to me that I couldn't have a pill because if someone more important got sick, they would have used up the available dosage. My reply, "You can't do that! It was my internal bleeding that allowed you to diagnose this in the first place!" Really, can you even imagine yourself uttering those words? Me neither.

Whenever I had a dream that upset me as a kid, my mom would always say that "dreams are contrary." I always likened this saying to the old adage that rain on your wedding day was good luck - in other words, it was meant to make you feel better if you were in that particular situation, but it didn't have any real applicability. Do all of brides that have clear skies on their wedding days experience bad luck? I don't think so. If I had dreamed that I became President would my mom have said it was contrary? Again, I don't think so. Nevertheless, I'm going to comfort myself and apply the sometimes-inapplicable maxim and take comfort in the thought that neither my husband or myself will die from a parasitic infection in the next week at which time I'll be shipped to San Francisco to marry an ex-lover. Thanks mom!

Us

A meme inspired by newly maternal She Likes Purple and the beautiful Raven all about Manbug & me. I'm doing this because I'm a bit lazy and to be honest, a lot of the details of the beginning of our relationship have started to fade.

What are your middle names?
I don't really have a middle name - my parents didn't give me one when I was adopted. Although, I used "Lee" as my middle name up until about 2002 or so because I found it on my adoption papers but now I think it was an error. Now I just use my confirmation name Elizabeth. Manbug's is Allen (although he uses this as his first name because his dad and he share the same actual first name).

How long have you been together?
We began dating in July of 2001 and got married December of 2006 - we've been together for seven and 1/2 years so far with many more to come.

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
This is hard to say...we worked for the same law firm, but I didn't really "know" him until a friend suggested that I date the totally hot IT guy. I looked him up - thought he was drop dead gorgeous and started flirting my ass off (just like every other single girl in the firm did with him). I feigned a broken computer, and then we flirted over email a lot before we actually went on a date.

Who asked whom out?
Again, this is hard to say. During our email flirting days I promised to take him to the best burger joint in Dallas, and he promised to take me for the best margarita in the metroplex area. We ended up going out for the burger one day for lunch...so I guess technically I did.

How old are each of you?
Manbug is 35, and I turned 40 in November. But I don't notice the age difference at all unless we are watching some show/movie and I'll say "Remember that..." and he'll say "I wasn't born yet." Really, five years doesn't put us on opposite sides of the space time continuum even though he thinks it does.

Whose siblings do you see the most?
Unfortunately, my only sibling, a brother, passed away while I was in law school. Manbug has one brother that lives in New Orleans and we see him a few times a year.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
We've had a lot of hard situations to face in the short time we've been married...a miscarriage, the loss of my father, a major move which included me leaving a 6 figure income producing job and both of us downsizing to a 950 square foot apartment for nine months. But surprisingly, we handled all of these issues with understanding and limited bickering. I think the hardest thing that we deal with is when we both let the day-to-day issues pile up and then have a fight over something totally stupid. Because we're not fighting about anything that really matters. We're working on this though, and I think we have come a long way in our communication skills - especially since neither of us really likes to "talk things out."

Did you go to the same school?
No. I went to school in the Northeast and Manbug went to school in San Marcos, Texas.

Are you from the same home town?
Nope - Manbug was born in Washington state while his dad was a fighter pilot in the Navy. (Isn't that cool? Like Top Gun). They moved around a few times until my father-in-law retired and they settled in Duncanville. I was born in Manhattan, lived there until I was four and then moved to the suburbs of New Jersey where my mom still lives.

Who is smarter?
Depends upon the topic. Manbug is smarter than me on many topics, including electronics, geography, movies, video games and finance. I outsmart him on language, law and pop culture.

Who is the most sensitive?
Me, hands down. In fact, I often joke that he is like Brad Pitt in that he is missing a sensitivity chip.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
We've actually been curtailing the money spent on eating out a lot lately. But it's safe to say that if we do treat ourselves, we'll likely be heading to Mexican restaurant. We've discovered a few candidates for favorites in Austin, but none to compare to our favorite restaurant in Dallas. We used to go there ever week.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Probably Mexico for the wedding of his friends. Oh, and the various ports we visited on our honeymoon (Key West, Cozumel and Grand Cayman).

Who has the craziest exes?
I don't know if any of them could be termed "crazy." My exes are certainly more colorful than his-especially in light of the fact he dated the same ex-girlfriend for years and years and years.


Who has the worst temper?
Manbug by far...but it fades out rather quickly whereas I tend to hold grudges for a really long time.

Who does the cooking?
I do. And a lot more of it since we're attempting to eat out less. Although Manbug makes, by far, the best mac & cheese I have ever tasted.

Who is the neat-freak?
We both are, but my OCD about neatness probably pushes him over the edge more than anything. If I would lighten up on my neatness more, and he would make an effort to move the dishes an extra 4 inches and put them in the dishwasher rather than the sink, we would probably bicker a lot less.

Who is more stubborn?
Stubbornness has been handed down from male to male on Manbug's side of the family for generations. It's really a sight to behold!

Who hogs the bed?

Manbug - but only because he is over 7 taller than me. His long limbs end up in all areas of the bed. We hope to rectify this situation by purchasing a king bed when we move.

Who wakes up earlier?
It truly depends upon the day. Some days, Manbug is up at 6:00 a.m. - making coffee, unloading the dishwasher and getting a start on the day while I lay around until 9:30 or later. Other days, it's the opposite. We rarely both sleep late on the same days.

Where was your first date?
Our first "date" was lunch at what I promised to be the best burger in all of Dallas. Our second date occurred a few hours later at the bar located in the lobby of the building where we both worked. Our third date was an hour or so later at my favorite bar in Dallas.

Who is more jealous?
Neither of us really - although, if something bugs me (such as his ex-girlfriend calling our house at 8:30 a.m. the other day), I'll say it once and let it go. Above everything else, we trust each other without question and thus, jealousy hasn't really been an issue.

How long did it take to get serious?
It actually took a long time for us to get serious. I don't think that either of us looked at the other as marriage material for a while. We were both sort of looking to have fun and ended up falling in love. But we took each step of our relationship pretty slowly, from dating, to being exclusive, to moving in to getting married. That being said, neither of us has ever looked back.

Who eats more?
Let me put it this way - Manbug was once asked to leave an all-you-can-eat buffet once. I guess the owner saw his profits circling the drain. I also refer to him as a goldfish since I'm pretty sure his method of demise will be eating himself to death. That being said, he's in good shape and doesn't gain weight very easily. So I hate him. :)

Who does the laundry?
You know, Mrs. Purple answered this question so perfectly that I'm literally going to copy her answer word for word: I am not exaggerating about this even a little bit: Mike Allen has not folded or put away a single article of clothing since we began dating moved in together. I truly believe he's allergic to many parts of the laundry process, and although I hate the chore myself, I prefer to have my clothes in my closet/dresser and not piled around the house.

Who’s better with the computer?
Manbug. He was a certified IT Consultant at one point. Although, I seem to have more knowledge when it comes to things like blogging and Twitter. That counts, right?

Happy Blogaversary to Me!

Today is officially one year since I started my blog and posted my first words of "wisdom." A lot has happened in that year - I left my job and started working on my own, moved from a city where I had many friends to a city where I had none. I hope a lot more will happen in the year to come - including a new house (in the next few months), a new job (whenever, I'm ready!) and maybe little Bugs...who knows?

I just wanted to thank each and every one of you for visiting my site, reading and leaving a record for me via your comments. I feel like this blog has opened my eyes so much - there are so many wonderful women out there and I just feel lucky that I can get to know you through this crazy thing called the Internet.

Now, I think my blog and I are going to get pedicures to celebrate!

Prison and a Shout Out to Public Servants

I spent a few hours last week in a line at our local municipal court. I was trying to remedy a ticket that a certain spouse (who shall remain nameless) received.

I was in a cranky mood - a mood that was only exacerbated by the lack of air conditioning (yes, it's Texas -sometimes we need a/c in February) and the mass of people surrounding me. Times two.

You see, I went on Tuesday - stood in line for an hour - and then realized that I had forgotten a vital piece of paperwork. (Actually, in all honesty, USAA had neglected to tell me that I needed to print out a new insurance card for our various automobiles. Hey - I'm all for saving paper, but at least send me an email - you know, to the same place you send the bills - and tell me to go to your website and print out a new card). Anyway, I was there on Tuesday for an hour or so, and then returned on Wednesday, in spite of the fact that I could have concluded our "negotiations" via mail but my obsession to see this issue to a close mandated a personal visit.

I was shocked at the parallel between the conversations that were taking place around me. It was different day, and I was surrounded by an entirely different group of traffic-transgressors. And yet everyone was saying the same thing I heard barely 24 hours before. They were "framed" and the cops were "unfair" and the line "was too long for a lunch hour." I was back in the crying room at church!

And yet the two girls behind the window (I only use the term "girls" because they were considerably younger than me and it makes me feel better) were kind and patient and answered the same questions over and over and over again. I was in awe. They were essentially punching bags for the mass of uninsured speeders, and yet, they were nice. NICE! The girl who attended to me even remembered me from the day before and paid special attention to the details of my issues, assuring me that my visit, though not required, had fulfilled everything.

It made me realize that you have to appreciate any human being that deals with the public on a daily basis. And remember, sometimes they have bad days too. A little kindness goes a long way.
But one thing did make me laugh as I waited in line and I snuck a picture using my Blackberry (although there were no signs forbidding pictures, I felt like it was probably a weird gesture):

In case you can't read it - the poster says "What exactly do you miss about prison?" And the picture, in the lower right hand corner, is a bar of soap on a shower drain.

Really?

Don't Divorce My Parents

Have you heard that Ken Starr -- and the Prop 8 Legal Defense Fund -- filed legal briefs defending the constitutionality of Prop 8 and attempting to forcibly divorce 18,000 same-sex couples that were married in California last year? The Supreme Court will hear oral arguments in this case on March 5, with a decision expected within 90 days.

The Courage Campaign has created a video called "Fidelity," with the permission of musician Regina Spektor, that puts a face to those 18,000 couples and all loving, committed couples seeking full equality under the law.

Please watch this heartbreaking video now.



"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.


If you have the same reaction that I did, please help me spread the word by sharing it with your friends and family ASAP. The more people who see this video, the more people will understand the pain caused by Prop 8 and Ken Starr's shameful legal proceeding. After you watch the video, please join me and over 300,000 people who have signed a letter to the state Supreme Court, asking them to invalidate Prop 8 and reject Starr's case. PLEASE GO HERE TO SIGN.


Isn't there enough divorce in this country?

The Persistence of Love

It's probably the most critiqued holiday on the books - Valentine's Day. People either love it or hate it. Well, that's not entirely true - there may be some people like me who are entirely apathetic towards it. You see, my husband? Not a planner. Me? Not a planner AND a procrastinator. And really, the "last minute shopping" that we would both be subjected to for one day is pretty much consumer rape. So we've agreed, in the past and presently, to keep it real. For shiz. We usually do something low key, like dinner at home, or we trick the pros by going out for our celebration the night before or for lunch. (No, you won't get us with your $350 three-course meal with a sub-par champagne toast!).


In fact, my FAVORITE celebration of this tepid holiday was the last time the 14th of Feburary fell on a Saturday. Manbug showed up at my house freshly showered and shaved - looking quite dapper. If I recall correctly, there were flurries of snow about. In one hand, he had a bottle of red wine and in the other, some firewood. He scooped me out the door with a kind command to get in his car. We went out to Maggiano's (don't judge - we like our chains!) for an amazing lunch, and by the time the rest of the consumers were involved in the dinner-chaos in Dallas, we were snuggled in front of a fire with full tummies and a movie. It was, perfect.


Since VD is falling on a Saturday once again - we're going to do the same thing. Go out for a decadent lunch that will perhaps, involve champagne, head home when everyone else is just getting gussied up for a crazy night, and celebrate the last few hours in quiet.


But really, that wasn't the point of my post. As a few of you know, I spent a semester during my junior year studying in Rome. As a Classics major, it was the prime location because it brought everything that I had read in my textbooks to life. One class met once a week for three hours - on Wednesday mornings from 9:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m.. And our classroom? Various sites around the Eternal City: The Roman Forum, Piazza del Popolo, the Circus Maximus. We would wander around seemingly misplaced stones and modern structures as our teacher pointed out the significance of what once stood in that very location. He captured our attention with amazing stories of old. I loved that class. I mean, I REALLY LOVED that class. It was everything I had hoped for in the most amazing city in the world. But one story stood out in my mind.


I thought this story was told to us as we stood in front of an ancient jail on the site of the Forum, but my research doesn't prove that story 100% accurate - so let me just relate what I've found that does agree with my memory:

On February 14, around 270 A.D. a Roman priest was beheaded for his belief in
Christianity. This priest, whose name is Valentine, lived during the reign of
Claudius the Goth. It is uncertain as to why Valentine was imprisoned by Emperor
Claudius. Some believe it had to due with Valentine secretly marrying couples,
which was prohibited by the Emperor. Others suggest it had to due with Valentine
saving Christians from persecution. While he was imprisoned Valentine
miraculously cured the jailers daughter who was blind. When people heard of this
miracle they began to believe in Christianity. Once the Emperor heard of this
event he had Valentine beheaded. It wasn't until the late fifth century
that Pope Gelasius declared February 14, St. Valentine's Day. February 14 was
one day before the Roman feast of Lupercalia, which is a pagan love festival and
it was the day that Valentine was martyred. The Christian Church felt it would
be best to replace the Pagan celebration with a Christian celebration and thus
Valentine's Day became synonymous with Love.

Again, I'm venturing into my fortieth year, so my memory might be foggy - but I do remember the story involved love - so I wanted to share this. Have a wonderful day!

Inappropriateness: A Trilogy

Yesterday, after a lovely wine-filled lunch at one of my favorite restaurants with my mother-in-law, and a quick trip to my new favorite jewelry store, I decided to take advantage of the beautiful 76 degree day we were enjoying in Austin. I headed to a dog park with my two furry offspring.

First of all, my youngest dog, Murphy, has an affinity for male dogs. And Murphy is male.

I never realized that a dog could be homosexual until Legally Blonde 2 opened my eyes - but I'm the mother of a gay dog and I'm damn proud. The problem isn't my dogs sexually affinity - the problem is two-fold: (1) his complete lack of knowledge of his and other dogs' anatomies and (2)well, to be frank, his aim.

Essentially, after taking a HUGE poop in the middle of the dog park, Murphy proceeded to run around and hump every male dog within a five mile radius. But he didn't hump them from behind, he humped their sides. Here, let me try to provide a visual for you:

(Notice the smile on Murphy's face and the not-so-happy face on his latest victim). Then began the three inappropriate comments that I received as a result of these actions.

INAPPROPRIATE COMMENT NUMERO UNO:

After scolding Murphy (with a smile on my face I might add) for his subjection of other canines, a weird crunch-nutty-guy said to me, "You dog is male and he's humping other male dogs." I replied, "Yes, we've always known his affinity for the same sex but it doesn't matter to us." CNG responded, "Yea, well it's not like dogs have a sense of morality." I was a tad shocked - I mean, was this guy trying to push an anti-homosexual agenda on me through my dog? So I responded, "I don't think it has to do with morality at all. I think it has to do with aim. We should all love everyone as equally as my dog does."

INAPPROPRIATE COMMENT NUMBER TWO:

My mother called my cell phone as I was heading home from our 27 minute romp in the dog park. I explained to her where I was and why I had left so quickly. She calmly said, "Maybe Murphy learned that behavior from watching Manbug." (Well, she didn't say "Manbug" - she said my husband's name but you get the idea). I asked whether she was implying that my husband had homosexual tendencies and she responded, "No, I mean maybe watched you two together." I'm sorry - I know that married couples have sex, but I don't want to discuss those details WITH MY MOTHER. Good Lord, I was hesitant to tell my mom about my miscarriage when it happened because then I knew that she would know that we had sex. And I demanded that she not tell my dad. Yes, I'm easily embarrassed.

INAPPROPRIATE COMMENT NUMBER THREE:

In keeping with the theme of parents and sex lives, this conversation with my husband took place while my mother-in-law was visiting:

MIL: Did I eve tell you about the great Halloween costume that your dad and I wore?

(I start to see a look of utter shock come over my husband's face, so I'm thinking, yes, he has heard this before and he's not happy about hearing it again. I busy myself with preparing some snacks).

MIL: I dressed as a brick and your dad dressed as a brick layer.

(I think, "OH MY GOD" as I gulp down some chardonnay.)

Manbug: Yes, I hadn't quite gotten over the visual from the last time you told me that, but thanks for refreshing it.

P.S. Guess what comes up when you do a Google search for humping dogs? I think I see my next stocking stuffer for Manbug.

Great Celebrity Quotes

Over the past few weeks, there have been a few items in the "celebrity" genre of writing that have made me laugh. Out loud. And we all need to laugh, don't we? So I'm sharing the source of my smiles:

• "I have an album to promote dummy. It's not rocket science." Bruce Springsteen to Bob Costas, on why he chose to perform at Sunday's Super Bowl after turning down past invites.
• In case you missed it, there was a bit of a debate between Miss Dunaway and Miss Duff. Miss Duff (and I use the term "miss" loosely) was slated to recreate a role made famous by Miss Dunaway - namely, the role of Bonnie in the classic Bonnie and Clyde.
  When Miss Dunaway heard of this casting decision, she asked, "Couldn't they have at least cast a real actress?" Miss Duff replied: "I think that my fans that are going to go see the movie don't even know who she is, so you know…. I think it was a little unnecessary but I might be mad if I looked like that now too." Ah, going for the "age" argument. Well play Miss Duff. As an aside, did you know that the funerals of Bonnie and Clyde supposedly took place in a building that was once near and dear to my heart?
• "I wish her nothing but the best, and I hope she's happy - whatever size that comes in." Nick Lachey in response to the huge media hype over this picture:

Nick, Nick, Nick - did you learn NOTHING from the divorce? Your statement is the equivalent to answering "Yes" in response to a question from your significant other, "Do I look fat?" You don't say "whatever size that comes in." You say, "She's hot and she's crazy in bed." I mean, come on - she helped make you a lot of money - money which I'm pretty sure you are still living off of since I haven't seen you or your girlfriend in any recent movies/TV shows/commercials. I mean, jeez - even Ed McMahon has a commercial!

• "Contractions aren't that bad. If you've ever had bad cramps? That's what they're like. But that moment when they put the baby on your chest - that's deep. It's a deep experience." Jessica Alba on giving birth. Really Jessica? Like cramps? Because, although I haven't given birth myself, I've had friends threaten to take their beloved genitals, fry them up, chew them up, and then spit them out at their beloved SOLELY because this poor man impregnated them. So I'm going to call BULLSHIT on your lovey, dovey view of birth. Also, you lose points because you later claimed that you cried during workouts to lose the baby weight. You have no street cred. Nuf said.
• "It's really scary about the economy right now. So the way I'm playing my part in helping is doing a lot of shopping wherever I go. I think a way for people to get by in this economy and still be fashionable is to go to TopShop, because they have really cute clothes at great prices." Paris Hilton is doing her bit to support the British economy. Really Paris? You're shopping because of the economy? Do you know what an "economy" is? And you're not shopping to fill that black spot in your soul where nothing exists? As a wise man once said, "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."
• Finally, and most importantly, the dumbest celebrity quote of them all exists where there is no actual quote. Chris Brown, you should be ashamed of yourself! Or at least as ashamed as the rest of celebrity community is of you.

Neglect

A few things in my life have been suffering from neglect the past week or so.

• My hair: dyed the gray and bit too light and it needs to be redyed a bit darker but I'll likely just go get it professionally fixed and until then walk around with light brown roots and dark brown hair.
• My blog: it says I haven't written since January 30th, but that's simply not correct. I started the post that I last posted on the 30th, but didn't actually post it until February 2nd. So it's only been 8 days since I last wrote.
• My home: Manbug and I have been particularly messy as of late and neither of us has encouraged the other to pick things up by doing it ourselves. Also, had to rewash a load of laundry becuase dude, that stuff smells if it's been sitting in the machine for a few days. Also, Motherbug-in-law arrives tomorrow for a quick visit to this hell hole.
• My bloggy friends: A few days ago one of my favorite bloggers gave me this lovely Lemonade Award and I neglected to follow the rules. Thus, I suck. But I'll still post the pretty award picture:

Although I suck and probably violated every rule associted with the award, it's my first award EVER and thus I'm really excited. Even if I didn't do anything asked of me.

• My dogs: I think one of my dogs might be constipated, but I haven't been keeping track. Although I had a huge hint this morning when he decided to drag his ass, feet in air, across a huge patch of mud. For those of you that don't own dogs, let me share an idea (not my dog, but you'll get the picture):

• My Google Reader: At one point it topped out at over 1,000. While some might suggest this means I should curtail my subscriptions, I think it means I just need to spend more time on the internet.
• My friends: I've been a bad friend lately. I even forget a very good friend's birthday (although I blame it partially on the fact that my BB is alerting me 24 hours AFTER an event and not before as I had asked).
• My life: Just sort of been an observer the past few days and dialing it in. This needs to change now because if you're not happy with the way things are, you can't just sit there and complain about it. It's better if you actually do something to change it.
• My complexion: I'm seriously, seriously considering buying the Clarisonic brush. I've heard really great things about it...but I can't decide if it's worth the high price tag (although, it would likely make me wash my face with a bit more regularity).
• My gym membership: Haven't really used that card...well, in a while now.
• My safety: We are having some majorally bad weather right now so I'm going to go check the weather with Manbug and make sure wer're safe. See you soon!