The Real Houswives of NYC, But Really, An Ode To Bethenny

In keeping with my pending trip to NYC in a few hours, I had to share my thoughts on the recent return of The Real Housewives of New York. I love this show with the heat of a thousand suns. It is just dead-on entertainment to me! Maybe it's because I grew up in New York and I have witnessed many of the portrayed stereo-types first hand, both in Manhattan and in the Hamptons. Maybe it's just the sheer frivolity of it all. I can't quite place my finger on it, but those women conjure up a perfect storm for me and I am on the edge of my seat without moving for the full hour of each episode.



Ramona:

I truly think this woman is certifiable. She even has "crazy eyes" which keeps with Manbug's theory (if you can see the whites of some one's eyes all the way around the pupil, they are crazy. I hate to say it, the theory has proven correct thus far). And honestly, she's like a dog with a bone when it comes to certain topics - she just won't let them drop! I think she's great for entertainment value - did you see her dancing at the party in the Hamptons in the last episode? All in all, she doesn't do much for me...I can take her or leave her.




Kelly: Kelly is new this year, and I have to be honest, she's rubbed me the wrong way so far. Not that I disagreed with her ignoring Ramona prior to the competition at the Hamptons Classic - I'm not sure I'd want to be seen with that hot mess from the porn version of the Kentucky Derby either, but there is something about her. Also, she tried to act like a little girl, skipping in short skirts and flat, but yet she comes across as very mannish. Also, I'm wondering how they will handle the fact that the recently turned herself in to the New York City Police for beating up her boyfriend!



Alex (and of course, Simon): Honestly, I could devote a whole post to the hot mess of Alex and Simon. Although they truly seem to love each other, there is something utterly creepy about these two. And gosh, I won't even get into the emotional scars that my psyche is now sporting thanks to seeing Simon getting a spa treatment. I recently read that Alex lost her job at Victoria's Secret but that the family is doing okay while living on Simon's salary as general manager at the Hotel Chandler. Just how much to GMs of hotels make? But honestly, those two earned their keep while shopping in the Hamptons at Blue & Cream. I about snarfed out my cereal at Simon's seersucker short suit with green suede driving moccasins. I mean, come on - YOU'RE GAY. I will give credit where credit is due - Alex looked amazing in her bandage dress. And honestly, they seem to love their kids, but I think there may be some therapy issues in the future for those two boys.


Luann: I don't have a lot to say about her...I find her, rather boring and not "all that" (despite her thoughts of herself). Her insistence at being called "The Countess" just makes me laugh. She seems to have some genuinely good qualities, but she also seems to play both sides of factions when they arise. And the teenage girl inside me cringed at her daughter's going-away "party." I cannot believe that Luann thought it was acceptable to sit and lecture the girls about manners during the last social event her daughter was able to attend before leaving for school. Again, to focus on the positive, she was like a mother hen when her daughter was upset and her husband was not there, but most of the time, there's a sensitivity chip missing on this woman. And please, someone tell me that that boulder on her right hand is some sort of gumball machine ring...because I have never seen a real jewel that large! I literally paused my DVR to focus on it - gorgeous! I also had a lot of respect for her when she marched to the stage and admonished the crowd to hush during the cancer benefit...although, she then returned to her seat and kept right on chatting.

Let me finish up with my favorite two Housewives....



Jill: I love Jill. I think she is honest and loving and flawed...just like me! I love that she called Silex after the bit appeared in Page Six about Simon drinking too much (seriously, how f-ing funny was that). Her apology wasn't perfect, but she made an effort. She just wants to be loved - by her daughter and her mom and her friends. I see a bit of Jill in myself I think - always bending over to help others, sometimes at the expense of yourself and the constant need for affection. She doesn't seem too pretentious, and she's not afraid to make fun of herself. She also knows when to let things go and when to fight them out. I, for one, wouldn't have let Luann get away with missing her commitment to pack swag bags, but Jill didn't mention it and filed it away for later! And I have to believe that any woman that has such a wonderful relationship with her teen aged daughter has something going for her. All in all, I think she's a good person and she makes me laugh my ass off - and I love her relationship with my most favorite.....


Bethenny: This woman, is hands down, the funniest thing. I have such a girl crush on her! And the things out of her mouth -

"Why are you plugging it in? What era are you in?" - When discussing vibrators and Alex's suggestion that they be plugged in.

Do you remember the episode at the horse race? Where everyone was referring to one guy as "Black Joe"? Bethenny expressed her disgrace that that by saying, "Oh, you're Black Joe? I'm White Bethenny and that's Jewish Jill."

When referring to Alex's children hacking away at her boyfriend's $30 burger at The 21 Club, "So your children can translate Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star into Latin? I'd say it's more important to learn not stab at your burger repeatedly. I mean, what's going to be more useful in life."

When Jill showed up to a real estate appointment wearing a fringed suede outfit, "Cher called - she's missing her outfit" or when she wore a mu mu to the beach she referred to Jill as "Maude."

When referring to the Countess' comment about airbrushing, "You mine as well say you're ugly and you need some help."

I was heart-broken when I saw the season's preview and Jill seemed to be yelling at Bethenny to leave some party...I hope those two don't end up fighting because they are comic gold to me.

So who is your favorite Housewife?

I'm heading to the airport in a few hours to go visit my hometown. I'm definitely going to try to post while in NJ, but I think my mom still has dial-up (the HORROR), so we'll have to see how that goes. (Although I can probably lug her laptop to Starbuck's).