Great Celebrity Quotes

Over the past few weeks, there have been a few items in the "celebrity" genre of writing that have made me laugh. Out loud. And we all need to laugh, don't we? So I'm sharing the source of my smiles:

• "I have an album to promote dummy. It's not rocket science." Bruce Springsteen to Bob Costas, on why he chose to perform at Sunday's Super Bowl after turning down past invites.
• In case you missed it, there was a bit of a debate between Miss Dunaway and Miss Duff. Miss Duff (and I use the term "miss" loosely) was slated to recreate a role made famous by Miss Dunaway - namely, the role of Bonnie in the classic Bonnie and Clyde.
  When Miss Dunaway heard of this casting decision, she asked, "Couldn't they have at least cast a real actress?" Miss Duff replied: "I think that my fans that are going to go see the movie don't even know who she is, so you know…. I think it was a little unnecessary but I might be mad if I looked like that now too." Ah, going for the "age" argument. Well play Miss Duff. As an aside, did you know that the funerals of Bonnie and Clyde supposedly took place in a building that was once near and dear to my heart?
• "I wish her nothing but the best, and I hope she's happy - whatever size that comes in." Nick Lachey in response to the huge media hype over this picture:

Nick, Nick, Nick - did you learn NOTHING from the divorce? Your statement is the equivalent to answering "Yes" in response to a question from your significant other, "Do I look fat?" You don't say "whatever size that comes in." You say, "She's hot and she's crazy in bed." I mean, come on - she helped make you a lot of money - money which I'm pretty sure you are still living off of since I haven't seen you or your girlfriend in any recent movies/TV shows/commercials. I mean, jeez - even Ed McMahon has a commercial!

• "Contractions aren't that bad. If you've ever had bad cramps? That's what they're like. But that moment when they put the baby on your chest - that's deep. It's a deep experience." Jessica Alba on giving birth. Really Jessica? Like cramps? Because, although I haven't given birth myself, I've had friends threaten to take their beloved genitals, fry them up, chew them up, and then spit them out at their beloved SOLELY because this poor man impregnated them. So I'm going to call BULLSHIT on your lovey, dovey view of birth. Also, you lose points because you later claimed that you cried during workouts to lose the baby weight. You have no street cred. Nuf said.
• "It's really scary about the economy right now. So the way I'm playing my part in helping is doing a lot of shopping wherever I go. I think a way for people to get by in this economy and still be fashionable is to go to TopShop, because they have really cute clothes at great prices." Paris Hilton is doing her bit to support the British economy. Really Paris? You're shopping because of the economy? Do you know what an "economy" is? And you're not shopping to fill that black spot in your soul where nothing exists? As a wise man once said, "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."
• Finally, and most importantly, the dumbest celebrity quote of them all exists where there is no actual quote. Chris Brown, you should be ashamed of yourself! Or at least as ashamed as the rest of celebrity community is of you.